When we go to unwrap an ice cream sandwich, we try to open it longways, to unwrap it in one pull, but then it always rips sideways, around the confection, despite all our attempts to guide the rip, so you have to try again, trying to pull the scruffy edge of that thin fragile paper away from the chocolate, only now you’re stuck digging around with your fingernail, damaging the surface and making you look like you’ve been poking around in your butt.
When you finally get hold of the paper … it rips the short way again, and you have to start all over again.
Meanwhile, when you go to tear off the toilet paper, it rips the long way and makes a giant useless stringy mess and you either have to just wad it up plus a whole bunch more or if you’re a folder, you have to just start over.
So some schmuck has us eating snacks wrapped in toilet paper and we’re using food packaging to wipe our asses.
The world is upside down.
